Oh Jeebus Frickin CHRIIIISTTTTTTT: I'm going to break it down for you. Here's what being queer means to me. I've felt queer since High School. I didn't identify as queer until College--when I wound up at the best place in America--Smith College--an All Women's college. I didn't go to an All Women's College because I love vag and am a raging Lesbian--in fact, if you call me a Lesbian I'll tell you to shut up--I'm not a Lesbian. I've never identified as one. I've mostly dated men, I've also dated women, I've also dated and fallen madly in love with people who don't choose any gender--who don't fit into any gender binary--they're born with certain parts and could do without some others. This is where I become proud to identify as Queer--to me, being queer accepts that the gender binary is bullshit and I'm free to love and make out with people who BOTH fit into the gender binary of male/female and people who simply don't. So don't call me a Lesbian. Being Queer and Being a Lesbian is not the same thing--and if this is too complicated for you to understand--well two words for you--FUCK YOU. You're behind. People have been gender-bending before the day you even existed you arrogant, self-serving, ignorant human. Get with it or get left behind. If you can't get with it, I gotta leave you behind--no apologies--we just won't be that close. Next item of business:
I went to Smith College for a change of effing scenery--to get away from the gender politics of high school--to quite frankly, take a break from all my guy friends. I went to Smith College because it sounded terrifying and COMPLETELY DIFFERENT from anything that high school was. I'm so thankful for Smith. It taught me that there was a word for the way I was born. QUEER. I'm not gay, I'm not a lesbian, I'm queer. I hope this is clear now.
And you know what, if you don't want to identify as anything--that's AWESOME--you don't have to. And if your parents don't understand what the hell is going on with your sexuality and your mess of a dating life--AWESOME--Welcome to the club, welcome to the legion of the many badass people who did things that their parents didn't want them to do. Please don't kill yourselves because your parents don't get it. They can try and they may never and it's not really okay. But it has to be okay in order for you to move on and get on with your life. Your parents don't have to be your community. Your friends will be your community.
And parents, stop being such assholes to your children.
THEY ARE YOUR CHILDREN.
FRIENDS ARE THE BEST. EVERYONE, GET SOME OF THOSE.