The first time I had sex was an accident.
I wasn't sure it was happening at the time.
I wasn't even sure if I mututally agreed to it.
I believe I said the words, "I'm not ready." And "I don't want to have sex."
And lo and behold, it happened.
At the moment, it felt like his body part was conveniently hard and it conveniently fit into my convenient hole. It felt good. Because sex feels good. Because nerves exist down there.
But I don't believe I really wanted it.
I just wasn't quite sure how to stop it from happening.
I was 16 years old.
A junior in high school.
We did not use a condom.
I think he was driven by something he couldn't explain.
And I was driven by something I couldn't explain.
Because I honestly can't recall a single thing that sex education taught me. I honestly only remember receiving one course in middle school that taught me about tampons, and even still, I didn't know how to properly insert a tampon from the lesson. I had to learny by trial and by error on my own. And the same went for sex.
I had to learn by trial and by error on my own.
I had to take Plan B. After my first time. At 16 years old. A junior in high school.
I couldn't tell my parents.
I couldn't tell my family.
I was embarassed and scared.
If I didn't take Plan B, then I ran the risk of getting pregnant.
If I got pregnant, then I'd have to get an abortion.
If I did have to get an abortion, then I'd have to go to Plannned Parenthood to get it.
Because I didn't have anywhere else to go.
I went to Planned Parenthood to pick up my Plan B because I, as a confused teenager, had no idea where to go and who to turn to. I felt ashamed, I felt like I did something wrong, I felt guilty. I made the guy I had sex with take me. He waited in the waiting room.
And I took Plan B.
To this day, my parents don't even know about this.
And I know that I'm one of the many young women in my high school who went through this very same thing.
I had to take Plan B again in high school when the condom broke.
I went to Planned Parenthood.
So when I hear that Planned Parenthood is losing funding, I truly fear for all the young girls in high school whose bodies are landing mines. I fear for all the young minds and bodies who don't quite understand the consequences of having sex. Sex is natural. Sex is fun. Sex is universal. Yet, I've grown up in world where I have seen it used as a weapon and due to our anatomy, women's bodies usually become the landing mine of the consequences of the wake.
Planned Parenthood is a refuge. It is a non-judgemental space where all women and non-gender-conforming, and men can turn to where the education system and society fails us. Planned Parenthood was a safe haven for me when I couldn't even face my own family.
I will fight for Planned Parenthood to stay alive.
I will continue to share my story and the deep connection I have to Planned Parenthood.
Planned Parenthood was also where I went to receive my IUD in my twenties. Planned Parenthood was where I felt safe. Planned Parenthood was someone I could trust with my body.
If I lose Planned Parenthood, I lose a friend, I lose someone who saved my life.
608-752-4050 Call Paul Ryan. #istandwithplannedparenthood